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October 05, 2017

We all have embarrassing stories. Some of them are bad. Some of them arereally bad. And some of those stories are the result of relaxing, stretching and bending your body into unnatural postures. While it’s not nice to gossip, we do have a few juicy stories to share with you – don’t worry, they were all shared willingly, but we’ll keep them anonymous for the sake of blushing.

The savasana snore

I used to wake up at 6:15am for a hot yoga class twice a week, which meant my alarm would go off at 5:30am and I would leave super early to get 'my spot' in the class. When winter came around, it would be extremely dark around the time I would get to the studio, but I would still go because I couldn't stop imagining how comfortable and warm the studio would be compared to the frigid cold outdoors. One day I forced myself out of bed, got to class 20 minutes early, found 'my spot', rolled out my mat and lay in savasana until class began. I got a tad too comfortable and woke up to my loud snoring (according to my husband, I snore like a horse) and people surrounding me trying not to giggle.

I was beyond embarrassed and tried to pull it off as if I intentionally made that obnoxious sound!

Needless to say, I started having a shot of espresso before heading to ANY yoga class!”

The upsidedown oopsie

“I was subbing a lovely Friday night class called “Freedom Friday,” in which we’re allowed to teach whatever we like. I asked the class what they would  like and they were all for inversions. So, we started working on inversions. Now I don’t know about anyone else, but sometimes when I go upside down or do a lot of wide legged poses, some.. erm.. air gets into places. I kicked up into forearm stand against a wall, cueing as I went, showing options for legs, etc. As I came down, one leg at a time, all the air decided to release – and not from the back end. In front of the whole class. Whose eyes were all on yours truly. All I could say was “excuse me” and I carried on like nothing ever happened. It’s certainly made me wary of too many inversions.”

A surprise visit

I was teaching a hatha class one day, and during the meditation at the beginning of class I got that feeling that every woman has experienced: I just got my period. Of course, I’d chosen to wear some lighter coloured yoga pants that day. And we weren’t even 10 minutes into the hour-long class.

There was only one thing I could think of to do, and it was the ultimateemergency teacher move:

I cued the class to move into child’s pose, and – quickly and quietly – ran to the bathroom and shoved toilet paper into my underwear. It was the only thing I could think of since my bag was in another room, and, well, I was teaching the class! I felt awful for leaving them in child’s pose for so long, but sure enough, it was for a good reason.”

No loitering

“At the end of class, when students are in savasana, I like to go around and give them an assist. I rub my palms together to warm up my hands and also create just enough noise that they are aware I’m there, and then I gently press down on their shoulders. It’s a lovely assist to give and receive, but it’s not for everyone. I learned that the hard way. One day, I was going around the room while everyone rested and gave out assists. I try not to do this if there is a new person in class, or to make sure that I announce I will be coming around, but something must have slipped that day. I came around to one lady who was lying on her back. She must have known I was there, because before I could lay a finger on her, her eyes shot open and she sternly said, ‘Don’ttouch me.’ I was so startled, I must have had the most terrible expression on my face as I slowly nodded and tiptoed to the person next to her.”

Have an embarrassing yoga-related story you want to share? Don’t worry, we’ll keep your name out of it. All you have to do is write us at luminaries@myinnerfire.com.